Is Discombobulated a Real Word?

If it is. . . then that is how I feel. Just really mixed up in my head. I am a very level-headed practical person, usually, so this is quite a change for me. I've just been re-examining my life, as we are all wont to do at the beginning of a new year. And I'm not at all sure about where I am. I feel like I've been sleepwalking for months, even years, and now suddenly I am rethinking everything. Why now? Not quite sure. Its disconcerting to say the least.

When we moved to Florida and I went back to work I feel like I got on a treadmill that keeps picking up speed and I haven't been off of it since. No time to stop and analyze, just quick, get over each hurdle as it comes. And the strange thing is I don't want to think about it. I'm happier being ignorant. Ignorance is bliss right? I don't want to think about whether I love my job, or where I live or if I'm living a passionate life. Because what if I decide I don't or I'm not? That would mean some big decisions and upheaval and I'm not someone who is happy rocking the boat. So I am trying to hang on to the treadmill, at least for now.